Turnaround
by restless-mess
Summary: EC She wants him. But is it that easy? It never is. Complete
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

A/N: This is my first fic. This idea has been rolling around forever... it's not beta'ed or anything so apologies for mistakes. Sorry if this sucks but I had to write it.I'll probably continue if I didn't butcher this. Here it goes:

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She sighs lightly awaiting your response. Your hands are firmly cradling your ceramic coffee cup as you search the jumbled mess you call a brain. So many times you have wanted her to say this and now that she has you aren't sure what to say. You aren't sure what you can say. She's never been one to just say something so...raw. Her intentions are usually hidden behind her words, or her eyes.

The tapping rain on the tall windows beside you somewhat lull you out of your thoughts and you find yourself staring into your black coffee, because that's easier than thinking about this mess. And right now you don't even know where to begin.

She breathes in as if she is about to say something more, but when your eyes quickly flit to hers, her shoulders slump back down and she continues to stare at you intently. You look back down at the dark wooden table of the coffee shop you are in, in an attempt to regain the inkling of a thought process you had a minute ago, but the low bustle coming from the coffee shop around you now seems adequately louder and you know you need to say something because the silence is killing her.

"Calleigh, I..." Damn it...Okay. You close your eyes slowly and take a deep breath. Your drawn out attempt to clear your mind must have set off an alarm in her because when re open your eyes. She is slightly leaned over the table more towards you, eyes wide, searching you for more words. You stare at her pupils, but don't actually look, because you're afraid of what you'll see.

Her hands leave her cup, and she places them on the table as if to brace herself for your answer. But you can't give her it. Not yet.

You contemplate putting a hand on hers but you don't want to give her the false hope she gave you countless times in the past, so you compromise by lightly placing your left had a few inches away from her own.

"You know how much I care for you" you state. You think you see a nod, but maybe you didn't. You take her silence as an invitation to continue.

"But, I don't know if I can do this...Not now. Not after..."you trail off, knowing that she knows exactly what you are talking about, and you saying it out loud will only hurt her. And you don't want to hurt her anymore than the other men in her life. You aren't sure what to do about what she revealed to you, because you still care for her...maybe even love her. Maybe. So why is this decision so hard!?

After holding her defensive position through your words, she takes a slow breath and removes her hands from the table, slumps her shoulders and looks into her full cup of tea nodding. After a minute she raises her head and looks you in the eyes. She looks at you so deeply and compassionately as if searching for something... just like you used to look at her. You have to look away for a moment to see if the look on her face is real and not just your mind playing tricks on you.

"Eric..." she calls, wanting you to look at her.

When you look back she still wears the same face and it makes you sad and angry at the same time. The emotion painted on her face stabs at your heart with guilt. Your pent up emotions are threatening to leak out any minute now and you bite your lower lip hard to control them. After a moment, you speak;

"This isn't me pushing you away... I'm not saying anything yet Cal-leigh". You almost call her by her nickname you used to be so fond of using, but the situation makes you finish her full name, and you're not sure who it would be more painful for, hearing 'Cal' escape your lips.

"But, I have to go. I just ... want some time to think about this" you explain.

She nods slowly and reaches into her purse, but you beat her to it and lay out some bills. Standing up, you give her a sympathetic look, but quickly wipe it off your face and thank God silently that she's still digging through her purse and wasn't able to see.

The grumble your chair legs make as you push it backwards with your calves bring her out of her search and she looks up at you.

"Don't...", you stop yourself from telling her to not dwell on this and be strong because you know she will be strong. She always is. And you know that no matter what you say she won't stop thinking about you even though she won't show it. Not to anyone else at least.

She looks up at you questioning your outburst, but after a moment her features soften and she moves her cup forward and places her black purse on the table in front of her, looking at your chest, and traveling upwards to hesitantly meet your eyes again.

Her actions surprise you and your brows furrow slightly as you shoot her a light worried look. She brushes you off and looks over her shoulder and stands up. Pulling the hem of her top down, her hands meet and fidget lightly as she looks back up at you.

And it suddenly hits you just how nervous and hurt she is. You would have noticed right away when you met her here, but you were trying too hard not to read her. Seeing her silently suffer would've made you run right to her and take her into your arms. But you aren't sure if you can do that now. Well, you know you can... you just aren't sure whether you want to. And it scares you that all that has happened can make you think this way. Especially when it comes to her.

"You don't have to pay Eric, I asked you to come, I'll pay" she says quietly.

"No, I don't mind. You can get the next one" you say. This is your way of re assuring her that this isn't it. That you'll talk about this again once you are able to...think?

She nods thankfully and offers you a small smile. You feel your knees conspicuously weaken and you curse the effect she still has on you. You grab your coat and almost whisper a "Goodbye" and shoot her a half smile of regret.

You turn your back and stop a few feet from the door waiting for her to say something after you.

"I'll see you ...or , uh talk to you later" she says nervously. It worries you to hear her like this and you're glad your back was turned when she spoke. You aren't sure your heart can take another sight of her looking broken.

"Yeah" you say still facing the door. You push it open and you hear a little bell ring over head. As you step out onto the street you still hold your jacket even though it's still raining, and noticeably more than when you first arrived. You walk about a minute to your car and stand outside the driver door looking upwards hoping the rain will cleanse your mind and help you think about your situation somewhat sensibly. But your feelings for Calleigh never were sensible and all the rain does is stir your thoughts more so that only her words floats on top of all your other deliberations.

_"Eric__ I'm sorry about before, but I realise now how much I need to be with you...__"_

Over and over.

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A/N: I'd like to hear your thoughts. Criticism is welcome. Thanks for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

A/N- Thanks for the reviews; mccrdel, Adorelo, brookeAp3 and Lemon Green. I really appreciate your comments!

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Entering your dark, empty apartment you chuck your keys on the kitchen table, and walk straight toward a light switch that lies on the wall beside your refrigerator. You hastily flick it once, then twice and no light comes from the overhead bulb. Blaming your power shortage on the rain storm, that until now you hadn't noticed has escalated into a thunder storm, you make your way to the bathroom.

You flip on your shower and shed your clothing, hoping the warm flow will wash away what the rain refused to earlier. After only receiving seconds of warmth, the rushing water turns cold. Quickly flipping off the water you slam a fist to the wall.

"Damnit!" you yell. Not only cursing the shower, but cursing Calleigh... and most of all cursing this whole damn situation, because you can't bring yourself to blame her for all of this, even though you want to.

_Why is she doing this now?_

And now that you think further, you're not sure who to blame this on. Jake? Calleigh? Or maybe yourself..? Thrusting an angry moan through your teeth, you shove both of your hands onto the tile and lean your head against the turquoise surface.

_Why is this so hard?! I've__ want__ed__ her__ for so long! It's like__ I finally get a chance with this amazi__ng woman, and I don't know if I can bring myself to be with her. _

Stepping out of the shower, you wipe the mixture of cold water and perspiration from your body with a damp towel and quickly dress in some U of M sweats, in an attempt to warm yourself from today's events. And even though the fuzzy fabric does nothing to warm your skin, the closeness of the soft cotton inside comforts you somewhat.

Closeness.

Something you lost when Marisol was taken. Something you have longed to have with Calleigh. Something you hadn't experienced with a woman since you were shot... since your feelings for her finally surfaced. And now that she has offered you some closeness, you retreat. You figure it's because you are still hurt by the false hope she instilled in you and her relationship with Jake, but that could just be your mind trying to find some semblance of rationality in your lingering feelings for her.

You urge yourself to let these things go, but the powerful compassion you had for this woman cut bulky deep scars in you, and you can't understand how to make them heal.

They say time heals everything, but it's been too long and you hurt the same, if not more, than when this whole thing started. And you're positive she hurts too because you saw the glints of regret and extreme pain in her eyes earlier today. And if you had read her them like you had so many times before, you're sure it would've brought tears to your own.

As you go deeper into you're thought process the light over your kitchen stagnantly flickers on and off for a few seconds, then makes a low cracking noise and goes out again. _U__gh. Damn blub__ is blown_.

As you search for any scrap of paper and a pen to write a reminder to buy more light bulbs the phone rings, and your thoughts immediately turn back to Calleigh.

_Why would she be calling so soon? It's only been... where's my watch...4 hours? What?_

Shock only stays with you for a moment because you suddenly remember the countless other times when thoughts of Calleigh would carry you away for innumerable ignored hours.

You silently hope its Calleigh calling, due to all the questions raised by your mind in the past 4 hours. Maybe she can put your mind into some state of ease, at least for tonight with some answers. Because you have an early shift tomorrow.

Snapped out of your thinking again by a loud, drawn out beeping, followed by a click you hear the worried voice of your mother come over the answering machine;

"Eric! This is your mother. If you are there pick up this phone right now! Eric! Pi-"

You snatch the phone out of its cradle. "Ma, I'm here", you say a little more monotone than you'd hoped.

"You're lucky you picked up this phone young man! I was worried sick about you when I saw that thunderstorm outside. Was your drive home from your date alright?"

"Yeah, Ma it was fine, and it wasn't a date it was... just a meeting," you say sounding a little frustrated.

"Well, I don't know what to call it, you never told me what it was about or who you were meeting. I just assumed a handsome young man like you would have a lot of dates. Even on a horrible day like this..." she says, almost too proudly.

"Ma, come on", you whine.

"I'm sorry honey...I just-"

"Ma, listen I'm fine, you just caught me in the middle of some, uh, paperwork from my last case. I'll talk to you later okay?", you hastily spit out, sounding impatient.

"I don't think so honey. Don't think I can't tell something is bothering you, just because I can't see behind those brown eyes of yours. I can almost see you lying through the phone."

She waits a moment then lets out a small breath, "I can hear the hurt in your voice, tell me what's wrong" she urges, somewhat soothingly.

You sigh deeply and take a big, long breath.

"Eric tell me, or I'm going to have to come over there right now" she says in her disciplining tone.

"You are not driving in this weather, Ma", you say, internally rolling your eyes, because you know she'd definitely see you through the phone if you literally did.

"Well then, I guess you're just going to have to tell me" she boasts, knowing she's got you.

"Okay, fine. That...meeting I had earlier, wasn't a meeting per say. But it wasn't a date either", you state. Then you hesitate before saying, "I just met Calleigh for coffee, and we talked."

"Is she still stuck on that boy Jake? They broke their engagement six months ago; I'd have thought a strong girl like her would be over him by now." She speculates.

"No, Ma, she's-"

"Good. That's good. She never deserved to be treated that way by him. She deserves a nice, honest man like you Eric" She says, and you can hear her awaiting your response.

"Ma, come on, you know we're colleagues an-"

"Yes, Eric I know you're colleagues and I also know that you have be infatuated with her for too long. Now tell me why this 'meeting' made you so upset... Did you ask her for a date?" she questions.

"No Ma, I didn't ask her for a date... I gave up that hope a long time ago" you murmur.

"Well what happened then?" she softly urges.

Taking a drawn out shallow breath you say, "She told me she had feelings for me and that realised she wanted to be with me."

"Oh! Well... Wow." She says, speechless for once.

"My thoughts exactly", you add.

"Well, what did you say?" she pushes.

"I, uh, told her I needed time to ...process" you say hesitantly.

"Eric!"

_Here it comes..._

"Why didn't you sweep her off her feet then and there?! You have wanted this for so long Eric, what has changed!?" she shouts.

"Ma! Don't you think I realise all of those things! Don't you think I want to be with her!? I just... I can't do it! She ..."_Ughh_

You take another breath and continue; "She hurt me Ma. I don't think she meant to, but she did and... I don't know if I can do this now", you explain.

"Eric, you can. You can do anything", she replies, all too motherly.

"Ma, I don't know..."you say, trailing off.

A couple long moments pass by before she speaks again,

"Eric, when I was pregnant with you, a little while after we came to Miami, your father stayed at your Abuelo's for a week or two in the summer because of a fight we had." She says plainly.

"Okay...?" you stutter, perplexed at her sudden change of subject.

"The night before he left we had a big fight because of something I thought he did, not intentionally, but it hurt me greatly." She pauses, letting her words sink in.

"And I told him to leave, because I didn't think I could be with him because of it", She pauses again, and you have to take a seat on your hard wooden chairs because she's never told you anything bad about their marriage before.

"Ma, I-"

"No, Eric just listen." She scolds "And he gave me almost two weeks to cool off and think about it before he came to see me one day while your sisters were in school. I told him I couldn't be with him anymore, no matter how much he apologised, no matter how much he said he'd never meant to hurt me. But after we talked for hours, I realised how sorry he was, and because I still loved him with all my heart and I forgave him. Even after, he helped me feel better about our fight and we built back our trust and our love just got stronger than before."

"I never knew that about you two Ma", you say, somewhat in awe.

"Well it's not a big deal now, but do you realise what I am saying?" she asks calmly.

"Uh, well ... I guess yo-" and she cuts you off again, this time with an impatient tone hanging in her voice;

"I am saying that maybe you can tell Calleigh how you feel about her, and she can help you feel better like your Papi helped me" she says.

You sigh inwardly and think about her suggestion. _Can I do that? Will it even work?_

You are brought out of your thoughts when she continues; "Eric, I can tell by the way you say her name that you still love her" she says, chuckling lightly.

"Come on Ma, I don't **love** her" you say loudly.

"Okay..." she says in a mocking tone.

"Well... I don't. And stop talking like that, you're starting to sound like Rosa and Mari-" but you stop yourself from saying her first name out loud, and as soon as you stop yourself you hear her sigh into the phone.

"It's okay to say her name Eric, I'm fine", she reassures you, but you can still hear the anguish painted in her voice.

You nod silently. And mumble an "okay" you aren't sure she heard.

After a moment she says, "Eric, your fathers going to be home soon and I have to cook dinner, but please think about what I said".

"Okay, I will Ma, thanks..." you say. "Oh, and Ma?"

"Yes my angel" she says affectionately.

You blush a little and shake your head at the pet name before you say, "About your fight with Dad... What was it about?"

She lets out a small laugh before she says "I was snoring", she says simply.

"What?" you say, laughing a bit yourself.

"That night, I was snoring too loud and your father decided to sleep on the couch, but I woke up to him leaving and I panicked. He tried to explain it to me but I thought he didn't love me anymore or something silly like that" she says still laughing.

"Ma! That doesn't even sound that bad, how could that turn into a huge fight?", you say incredulously.

"Hey, watch your mouth young man. I was a sweaty, eight and a half month pregnant, self conscious, young mother! Until you give birth you don't judge!" she says loudly, but you can hear the teasing tone in her voice. "And I realised how silly it was after I had you!" she adds.

"Okay, Ma, your right" you quickly say as a small smile forms on your lips. Leave it to your mother to cheer you up, she always does.

"Alright then, I will call you soon honey, and don't be so down about you and Calleigh, just talk to her."

"I will Ma, I love you", you utter.

"I love you too" she says.

Click.

You pick up your watch again from the table and note that another hour has passed.

Yawning, you walk around to a lamp beside your couch and flick it on, and it happily lights up. _Good, the power is__ on m__aybe now I can get a decent hot__ shower._

After taking a long, relieving, shower you dress in some clean pyjamas and decide to distract yourself with some paperwork due for Horatio's trial on the pending Henderson case. After a few long hours, with almost no thoughts of Calleigh, you set your alarm for work the next day and slip under the beige covers of your large bed.

_Ah, sleep._

And as soon as your eyelids close the thoughts from today come flooding back, filling your mind. You try to push them to the back of your mind, and restlessly change your sleeping position in an attempt to forget everything, just for a few hours.

After what feels like hours of tossing and turning you stare into the bright red numbers of your alarm clock.

1:54

_Damn. Tomorrow is going to be a long day._

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A/N- I would really love to hear your thoughts, good or bad. I welcome criticism so go nuts!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N- Soo, here's chapter 3. I planned on finishing and posting this earlier, but life happens. So here it is now. I would really, REALLY love to hear anyone's thoughts on this chapter. If you read it, please review it! I never realised how important reviews are until I started writing. So pretty please just take a minute : )

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As you climb slowly out of bed this morning, you are met by a painful, tedious throb, punishment for the lack of sleep you got last night. And going through your morning motions doesn't ease this throb, but instead brings a sharp, anxious ache that begins in your back and slowly spreads through the rest of your body.

Deciding to skip breakfast due to the fact that you don't think you'll be able to keep anything down, save the 2 strong cups of coffee you already polished off, you get in your car and head to the lab early. Besides, you still have to review the evidence for the Henderson case.

At least that's how you reason with yourself on the way to the lab. Because really, you're going early hoping Calleigh is there. You've decided it'll be easier to talk to her when the lab is relatively empty.

Thoughts of her cause the ache that encompassed your body, to now center you're heart and you notice you're palms start to moisten and you subconsciously increase your speed, almost running a red light.

Coming to a hasty stop, the car jerks you forward and your aching chest is pressed into the seatbelt.

A tense moan escapes your throat at the pressure and snaps you out of your anxious thoughts. It's then that you realise you are stopped outside restaurant where your last big fight with her took place. The fight that put the most distance between you.

_"So Eric, you said you wanted to talk about something__," she questions smiling__quietly__. "If it's about the case you know I'm here for you" she says softly._

_"Actually," you slowly begin, "I wanted to talk to you about... you and me." The look on her face makes you question your choice of words._

_"Oh", she replies, her voice intonation heightening. _

_"Look, this isn't easy... so I__'m just going to say it__"__ you stop for a moment letting a breath out of your n__ose while you clench your teeth.__ "I know you're engaged to Jake and you seem happy, but__ don't go through with this Cal, you can't marry him."_

_"What!?" she says almost yelling._

_"He's not right for you! He... isn't good enough for you!"_

_By now __her previous soft features are hardening and __you can see the rage __streaked across her face. It scares you somewhat because she has never been this mad at you._

_"First of all, you can't even begin to comment on a part of my life you know__ nothing about!"_

_"C'mon Calleigh" you say matching her anger. "__I know he hurt you! I can see it right now, it still hurts doesn't it! I can tell how scared you are." She looks shocked at your statement. __"Calleigh__, just because our friendship hasn't been as strong lately__, doesn't mean I can't still tell__ when you're hurting__",__ y__ou say softer. _

_"No, what hurts, is my best friend questioning my relationship with my fiancée!"__"And you don't think I'm not hurting right now?! Seeing you with him __every day__ was bad enough, but now you're engaged and you are acting all surprised that I'm making a big deal about it. You know how I feel about you!"_

_"Well not exactly Eric, and you-"__"__Are you kidding me __Calleigh!?" Y__ou __yell,__ flabbergasted. "A__fter I got shot something happened, there were more than friendly feelings there!" By then she is looking at the ground and when she looks up__ ready to say something__ she meets__ your moist __b__rown eyes and__you can tell she took back what she was about to retort with._

_"Eric__, if there was... something__"__, she stops and sighs, tilting her head slightly to one side._

_You feel your face fall slowly at her words._

_"It was only something", she repeats_

_Your __spirits are __too far down__ to yell, so hardly above a whisper you murmur, "That's a lie, and you know it. Don't just say things to spare my feelings Calleigh. I think I deserve to know if you feel- felt, the same way about me."_

_She looks longingly at you for a millisecond then shifts her eyes over your right shoulder before looking back at you again, wavering slightly, "Eric-" she says, her voice dripping with emotion,"-I ,well , I ...it's different now." She says all too quickly as she lightly brushes her engagement ring._

Snapping out of your thoughts by a loud barrage of horns behind you, you quickly accelerate onward to the lab.

You shake her head at the memory, because then you had hoped that maybe, just maybe she'd admit her feelings to you for once so you could at least know you weren't crazy. But mostly you'd hoped that if she said them out loud it would somehow change things.

However, that moment has come and gone, and now it's your turn to admit things to her. It's definitely not as easy as you had thought, and now you are only thinking about it. This thought rather scares you, because if thinking about it makes you considerably uneasy, you're not sure you'll be able to actually say them to her.

Having been on autopilot, you suddenly recognize the lab parking lot as you veer into your parking space. Grabbing your bag, you find yourself purposely avoiding looking at Calleigh's parking space because if you know she is there before you talk to her you're afraid your nerves will get the better of you and you'll chicken out. Yes, it'll be better on impulse because you won't have time to second guess yourself.

Striding tensely into the lab you feel the cold air from the air conditioning glide over the sweaty patch of skin on the back of your neck sending a shiver down your spine and causing your palms to moisten slightly more into a cold sweat. The cold air numbs the ache in your chest, and you are thankful for that.

Walking past the reception desk you give a nod to the secretary just leaving from night shift, and make your way to the locker room to deposit your bag. After doing so, you silently walk to the break room, in desperate need of a caffeine fix. Getting the coffee out of the cupboard you shake it into the coffee maker, add the appropriate amount of water and flip on the switch. Just as the machine gurgles, you begin to smell the delicious brew and you close your eyes at the heavenly scent.

When you slowly open them, you see her, eyes preoccupied by a large case file, making her way speedily to the gun lab. At the sight your throat tightens but you swallow it away.

You decide it's best to do it now. You grab two cups out of the cupboard on for you and one for her. You suppose she needs the boost just as much, if not more, than you do.

Popping a sugar cube and a dash of cream into hers, and leaving your own dark, you follow the path you saw her take minutes before.

Stopping at the door when you see her blonde drape of hair, neck hunched over the same case file at her desk, you almost walk in. Faltering to look her over once more you notice she is hugging her lab coat around her abdomen, and then you decide it's better to knock and lightly you rap your knuckles against the glass.

When she doesn't look up you walk in and say "Morning", coolly (you hope).

"Hi, Eric" she responds softly now looking up. It's then you get a good look at her face that you notice how tired she is.

You stand there awkwardly for what seems like forever. That is until you see her fatigued eyes travel to your hands and you remember what you're holding.

"Oh, right..." you say "Here", offering her the cup you made for her. Realising you are still standing at the door, you walk a few more feet to the table she is sitting at and place the cup at the top of the file.

"Thanks", she says quietly, while closing the file and moving it away from the steaming cup.

Picking up the cup and bringing it to her chin, she inhales it before bringing it to her lips taking a small sip.

After taking two large gulps of your own cup, you place it at the end of the table and inhale deeply. Noticing this she places her cup on the table in front of her, still resting her hands on the sides, and looks up at you expectantly and her eyes look just as nervous as you feel.

"Uh, so... How are you?" you sputter out, wincing afterwards. Damn, that was a stupid question.

Her brows furrow slightly then she says "I'm fine", followed by the ghost of a smile.

You don't say anything, because you know she's lying. You can see how tired and torn up she is. She was like that long before yesterday.

She must hear your inner speculation because after a long instant she continues:

"Well, I guess I'm just ... a little tired, but otherwise fine." Tired. A feeling you know well.

Nodding in understanding you take a step closer to the table and lean your left hand on it.

"Okay, well, I was thinking last night about..." you trail off, feeling no need to state what is both running through your minds. "And, I have some questions before I can fully-" you pause for a moment choosing your words carefully, "-process...things".

"Okay." she says, and you can tell she is uneasy about this.

"Okay." You mirror. Pausing for a moment you look at her to make sure she is really ready for this. When she looks genuinely into your eyes and lightly nods you start.

After getting her approval you prepare yourself and decide to just say it, "Why did you choose him over me?"

"Well... We were engaged Eric. I-"

"No, not then. I mean right after I got shot, right when he started coming back again".

You look straight at her while you say this and with each word you see little amounts of color slowly drain from her face.

Pushing her coffee cup forwards, she uses the new space to put her hands on the table.

"Eric... He was a part of my life before and ... he" she stops, her breath hitching in her throat. She lets the same breath out her nostrils before speaking again.

"I don't really know Eric. We already had had a relationship and I guess I just-". She looks up again at you with the same colorless face, shaking her head.

By now, you become agitated by her lack of real answers.

"Was it because you had more feelings for him?" you say blankly.

"Well, yes I suppose. I mean we were together before...so yes." She answers.

That wasn't a good enough answer for you so you press on, "Or was it because you were scared to start something with me? Scared that maybe- maybe you did have feelings for me?"

She looks away as you say this. You figure she's looking away because she knows you would see the answer in her eyes.

Looking back up at you blankly she speaks, "Maybe I was, but, it didn't feel that way at the time. I guess I just felt more... comfortable with him because we had already been together. With you it would have been all new and-".

"Scary?" you finish.

She frowns lightly, blushing at this and tilts her head down slightly allowing pieces of her hair to cover her cheeks. Seeing her like this softens your mood a little.

You are about to speak when your cell phone goes off, and you tiredly flip it open and answer.

"Delko".

In comes Wolfe's voice from the other end and you let out a small annoyed breath at his timing.

'It's Wolfe. I just got a call from Tripp, they found two DB's at the Henderson house and the whole place is ransacked. One of the body's is the wife's; we got to get over there now.

"Yeah, Okay I'll meet you there in about fifteen." You say hanging up. Great timing Wolfe.

"That was Wolfe... We got a call out to the Henderson house", you explain.

"Alright... I guess we can talk more later then?" she asks, sadly hopeful.

"Uh, yeah how about after work?" you offer evenly.

"How about my place?... I'll make the coffee" she says, offering barely a chuckle.

"Sure" you respond lightly.

You grab your cup and turn to the door when you hear her voice again, "Hey".

"Yeah?" you question.

"What's going on at the Henderson house?" she questions, all business now.

Typical Calleigh.

After telling her what Wolfe explained to you just before, you give a small 'Good-bye', and head off to the Hummer.

Stepping out of the gun lab, your shoulders slump slightly and you let out a breath of relief. The end of the breath brings back the throb that occupied your head earlier this morning, and you think to yourself that being in her presence may have healed it for the moment. She always did have a way of making you feel better, without even knowing it. It's things like this that make you want to forget everything and just be with her.

Maybe this day was going to be a lot longer than you thought.

Great.

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A/N- Alright. I'm worried that the story is a bit slow, I know it's angst, but it's my first fic and I'm not really sure about how fast to be going... I'd love feedback and/or criticism on that or anything else. Don't be shy, I can take it!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I own nothing recognizable.

A/N- Okay, so I had planned on posting this chapter earlier, but it was harder to write than I thought it would be, and I had a mild case of writers block. I'm not too sure how this is going so I really need some feedback! COUGH HINT (review)...please!

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After collecting what seemed like thousands of prints and blood and fibre samples you trudge out of the Henderson house toward your hummer.

You look up noticing the sky has gotten slightly darker, turning a light orange and pink, and if it wasn't so damn humid out, you might be enjoying how beautiful it looks.

Throwing your evidence bags and kit in the back you collapse into the driver's seat and turn on the ignition, leaving it in park, blasting the air conditioning. As you reach over to grab your cell phone to check your messages, a sharp and aching pain shoots through your neck.

"Ah!" You hiss out in pain.

You figure it's from having to squeeze inside Mrs. Henderson's ransacked closet to collect prints. Out of the four workable prints you gathered, at least one better be worth this.

After recovering from the shooting pain, while massaging your neck, you pick up your fallen phone, (carefully now) from behind your seat belt buckle.

Quickly scanning through your voice messages, you don't find any new one's from Calleigh, so you flip your phone closed.

Leaning your head back for a moment, just as you close your eyes, you are startled by a loud tapping coming from the window on the passenger's side.

Eye's flitting open, you almost whip your head around but remember the pain you experienced not 1 minute ago and slowly turn your neck.

_'Wolfe_', you think, groaning outwardly. You reach to your side, pressing the unlock button. As he opens the door, you lean back again not making eye contact with him.

"Hey, could I ride with you back to the lab?" He asks, all too cheerily.

"Didn't you drive here in one of the hummers?" You ask, not caring how annoyed you sound.

"Yeah, but something happened to Frank's car and I let him take the hummer so he could drive across town to talk to some suspects," he explains.

"What the hell happened to his car this time?" You say, lazily exasperated.

"I stopped asking after the last one," he says laughing a little. It even makes you chuckle slightly, despite your current mood.

"Yeah, alright," you say, "jump in".

"Thanks man" he says jovially, and rounds the back of the hummer, swiftly depositing his kit.

After he enters the passenger's side, you pull off of the curb and make your way toward the lab. Once on the road, your thoughts stray back to Calleigh, as you half listen to Wolfe attempting to tell you about his findings in the house. You answer less than half heartedly with either grunts or one word acknowledgements every so often.

You think about what you are going to say to her. You had a somewhat clear outline of what you wanted to ask her earlier today, but this drawn out tedious day has left your mind in a haze. This haze clouds the rational part of your brain and it suddenly comes out when the small blue car in front of you stops at a red light.

"Come on!" You shout angrily, your voice deep.

"Whoa man, calm down it was a red light," he says staring at you a little wide eyed, "In case you don't remember it's kind of the law to stop".

"He could've made it," you say grudgingly. Pausing for a few moments, you can practically see his brain steaming, working to come up with something to say that won't set you off.

"Look, I'm sorry, I just want to get back to the lab and drop off the evidence. Being cooped up in that house all afternoon just has me kind of restless, I guess," you say justifying your actions, lying slightly. Really, you're more nervous than you were this morning about talking to Calleigh because now you've had all afternoon to think about what to say to her. This over thinking has you at a loss for things you plan to say ask her. It's then that you quickly pray they'll come to you in time, and that they won't be the wrong questions.

"It's okay, I can definitely relate," he says, scratching the back of his neck, and letting out a small yawn.

Looking back up at the light, which still hasn't turned green, you let out a deep, annoyed breath, and seriously consider using the siren. Just when your hand begins to move toward the siren switch, the light turns green, as if sensing you're about to burst.

The rest of the way back to the lab isn't so bad, save the usual dinnertime traffic. Finally you pull into the lab parking lot. Stepping out of the car the thick, sluggish heat meets you again. And you thought it was supposed to get cooler at night. Heading to the back of the hummer you notice the sky is even darker then when you had seen it last, meaning the ride was a lot longer than you cared to notice. The previous streaks of pink are now absorbed into the orange, which is now significantly darker, with large dispersed patches of mild and dark blues here and there.

Both you and Wolfe grab your kits and the evidence, and walk into the lab splitting paths as he heads to trace and DNA, and you to the prints and the gun lab.

Stopping to only drop off your prints evidence, you decide you'll get to them tomorrow when your mind isn't so jumbled. Besides, leaning over a million prints all night doesn't exactly sound so pleasing, aching neck or not.

Slowly, but surely you make your way to the gun lab. When you don't see her at her desk you walk in, and see a glimmer of blond from the corner of your eye. Rounding the corner you see her staring at a target through the glass door, her shoulders tense, wide stance, not shooting but aiming. She stands there frozen for several long moments before expending at least 4 rounds almost irritably. With each shot you notice her shoulders relax a little as she lets out calming breaths after each round. You notice several other guns on the table beside her and decide to leave her in her solace. You really need a shower anyway.

You make a direct path for the locker room, walking fast, head down, avoiding being stopped by anyone.

After grabbing your shower necessities you have stored in your locker, you make your way to the men's showers, turn on the water, disrobe and step welcomingly into the glorious fall of water.

Revelling in the relaxation it brings, you turn so the water streams over your back muscles. You hadn't realised how tense you were until this very moment.

Letting out a sigh of relief, you slowly begin to wash; the continuous, rhythmic fall of the water hypnotizes you, putting you on somewhat of an auto-pilot.

After quite a long while (you suppose), you notice the great amount of steam now building up, and decide to exit the shower, much to your dismay.

After drying off and changing into some spare clothes you always keep, you head back to your locker.

When you reach it, the door from the hallway opens and in walks Calleigh.

"Hi," she says quietly. She seems somewhat unsure or hesitant in her words. You notice her waver before continuing on her path to her locker, two down from your own.

"Hi," you mirror, wondering at her sudden diffidence. When she doesn't say anything else, and opens her locker slowly, you say "Uh, do you want to pick up something to eat before we ... talk?" You say, internally scolding yourself for sounding like an awkward teenager.

"That sounds good," she stops thinking for a short moment, "Unless you aren't hungry we could just... jump right in... to talking I mean".

"Well, it doesn't matter; I just thought you'd be hungry from being penned up in the lab all day... But if you aren't we could... 'jump right in'," You say nervously.

"Yeah, I guess I am kind of hungry," she says softly, her voice hushed.

Before you can respond her phone rings, and she looks at the screen and mutters something like 'One sec' and vanishes behind the lockers into the women's bathroom.

You begin to dig into your locker for some deodorant, when you hear her voice echoing out into the room. Her words aren't very clear, but her tone is stern yet tired and disappointed. It's a tone you'd received from her only once or twice when you started at the lab, when you'd break protocol, or break her expectations of professionalism. Only her tone with the mystery person was somewhat different, harsher you think. Quickly putting on the stick of deodorant you toss it carelessly on the shelf in your locker.

When she reappears, her face is stone cold. She heads straight for her open locker, not once making eye contact with you. After gathering her purse and her suit jacket she turns to you.

"Listen, I'm sorry but something came up and I have to go. Maybe we can talk tomorrow or later this week... I'm sorry," she says, her face still stone. You look at her, your own face blank for a second, and she lets out an attempt at a stable breath.

"But Calleigh, I thought you wanted to talk, to work this out," you say, no quite yelling.

"Eric, I do! It's just-"

"What Calleigh? What is it?" You question furiously.

"It's... It's important... I'm sorry," she says turning to leave.

No. You aren't done yet.

"More important than this Calleigh!?"

"Well kind of... No, it's not but I have to," she says stumbling over each word, her face noticeably wincing.

"You're the one that came to me Calleigh! And now you're ditching me because of a phone call? I thought you actually wanted this, and I think I was starting to allow myself to want it, but you know... I don't know now. I mean, you obviously have more important things to do," you say, your voice escalating with each sentence.

"It's not that, I-"

"Forget it Calleigh," you interrupt, you're voice now lower as you shake your head. "I guess I'll just see you tomorrow or something".

After finishing your goodbye (if that can even be called one), you take a seat on the bench waiting for her to exit. Bowing your head, you can see her black heals still standing by her locker, and you can hear her breathing hitching every few seconds and she tries to say something. After about a minute of dense silence, she leaves, her heals clicking fast, signifying her quick pace.

When you hear the door completely shut you stand up, grab your bag and furiously slam your locker shut. When it only bounces back, you repeat the motion three more times before it finally stays closed.

You decide to take the back exit out of the locker room toward the parking lot. Although it is a longer walk and it's probably still pretty humid out, you really don't feel like running into anyone in your current state.

Making it to your car you chuck your bag into the back seat, and sit in the driver's side letting out angry breaths in an attempt to calm yourself. After you feel an iota of calm enter you, you slip the key into the ignition and put the car in reverse. Before you pull fully out of your space, you realise you don't know where to go. You've lost your appetite; you really do not want to go home because you know you'll only find nothing on T.V or hours of restless tossing and turning in bed. Your mood is less than jolly, so you rule out going to a club or a bar. After going through the rest of your very short mental checklist, you settle on just driving around to clear your head.

After roaming the city for over an hour you're no less frustrated then when you left the lab parking lot. The same two thoughts have been rolling around in your head the whole time,_ 'Why would she just leave like that? Why do I care about this so much?'._ And after an hour you still can't figure anything out. And not only that but your now in a very unfamiliar neighbourhood with way too many Chinese food restaurants on the block, each almost beside each other.

You marvel first at the fact that you have never been here before, despite your many years in Miami, and second at how this many restaurants serving the same food could end up on one block.

You can't help but let out a small chuckle at this. It's then that a myriad of scents reach your nose and instantaneously your stomach growls. '_Wow'_, you think. You haven't had Chinese since, well you don't remember exactly, but it's been a while.

You park in front of one called 'Lee's Chinese Restaurant'. Letting the scents fill your nostrils for several minutes, you simply sit there for a while thinking, the same thoughts still there.

And as silly as it sounds, it's as if these sharp smells clear the thick, irrational fog built up in your head and it comes to you.

You know Calleigh. She wouldn't leave for any reason, unless it was truly important. You saw the look in her eyes when she told you she wanted you. It was sincere. '_It had to have been something important'_you repeat.

You think back and notice how hurt she looked after the call. A twinge of guilt hits you, as you wonder if the phone call had been bad news of some sort.

Taking another deep sniff of the food, you realise that maybe, deep down, you might want this to work just as much as she does.

At these sudden revelations, you step out of the car and into the restaurant. You order two orders of a couple dishes that sound appetizing to go, and jump back in your car, one destination in mind.

_'It's been 3 hours, she should be home'_, you think, hastily making your way to her apartment.

As you reach her building you notice her car isn't there, but you park and decide to wait outside her door.

After waiting only about 5 minutes you see her slowly come toward her door, looking even more tired than before. When she notices you, she comes closer and you see her face more clearly. Her features are frustrated and broken.

You pick up right away, and ask "What's wrong Calleigh?" Your tone soft.

"Nothing, I'm fine... I think you should leave Eric, I don't think I can do this right now," she says her voice only slightly above a whisper.

You sigh outwardly and watch her for a moment, her head now down as she fidgets with her key.

"Calleigh, if you really want this, if you want me, you have to stop pushing me away... you have to stop putting this off," you say trying to sound as nice as possible, but still pushing enough to get your point across.

This time she sighs, takes a step forward and then looks up at you, "Look, I do want this, but I don't know if I have it in me now," she says honestly.

Her step moves her into a spot where the soft glow from the light outside her apartment lands, and its then that you really get a good look at her face. Her eyes look exhausted, upset and frustrated all at once.

At this you graze her elbow softly and say "If you aren't going to talk to me about ... us, then at least talk to me about why you're so upset. If not for the sake of this" you say pointing at her and then you, "then at least open up for you. I can tell how upset you are right now, and I know it isn't because of you and me".

"Eric, I-"

"No, you aren't fine Calleigh. I know you a lot better than you think I do," you say, your hand now softly clutching her elbow.

She looks at the floor at your words her hair falling in front of her face, hiding her features.

"Let me in," you plead, not only meaning into her apartment.

She remains silent still looking at the floor, and you suddenly remember the Chinese food in your hand. Shaking the bag lightly you say, "Come on, I brought us some Chinese".

Even still she remains silent, but she picks her head up and faces you, her dull green eyes searching the empty air beside you for something. She tries to speak, but fails. You notice this and decide to help her, "What is it Calleigh?" You say almost soothingly.

Your question seems to trouble her even more, and it worries you because you rarely see her at a loss for words. She always knows what to say.

"Is it-" you pause wondering if you should go there,"your Dad?" You ask, your voice hushed.

Her eyelids slowly draw closed and she nods solemnly.

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A/N- Okay see what I mean by writer's block... I mean, MAGIC CHINESE FOOD that helps you think clearly? Ha, oh well. I'd love to hear your thoughts, criticsms, anything, chinese food related or not : )


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer- I own nothing.

A/N- Wow... so it's been a while since I've updated and to all the faithful readers that are still reading I say: Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you etc., times 100000. I'm determined to finish this story and I am so thankful to everyone who has read it so far and am extra grateful to those who are keeping with it. So here it is:

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_"Is it your Dad?" You ask, your voice hushed._

_Her eyelids slowly draw closed and she nods solemnly. _

You knew it.

"What happened?" You ask quietly, trying not to pressure her anymore than you have to.

"He uh-"

"Do you mind?" Replies a hysteric whisper from behind you.

You move a few steps away from Calleigh and turn to the direction of the voice to see a scrawny man with an auburn wiry looking moustache clad in a sagging blue robe, face looking tired with age.

"I'm sorry, we were just-"

"Listen, I don't care what you're doing just please keep it down, it's late."

"You're right, sorry," Calleigh says from behind you, her voice quiet and small.

The man silently retreats behind his door and you turn back to Calleigh. Her head is down, her fingers rhythmically moving over the leather straps of her purse.

"Do you want to come in?" She asks, sounding timid.

"Of course," you say as if it's obvious, in an attempt to ease her nervousness.

"Alright," she says, with less timidity as she rummages through her bag.

"Damnit," she curses in a whisper, "where are my keys!"

You tilt your head in an attempt to peer into her open bag when you see a glint of something hanging from her pocket. Smiling to yourself you stealthily manoeuvre your arm around her and pick the keys out of her pocket.

Sensing your arm around her, she whips her head up, a questioning look on spread across her face.

You chuckle and jingle the keys in front of her face. A small, sincere smile pulls at the corners of her lush lips as she takes the keys from your hand.

She turns away from you to open her apartment door, and walks in and you follow her inside like a little puppy dog.

Shutting the door behind you, you stand awkwardly and watch her navigate around her kitchen.

"Do you want anything," she says her demeanour changing slightly, "a drink?"

"Um... sure," you say still clutching the bags of food. "Get one for yourself too; we can have beverages with our Chinese."

"Okay," she says that same smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "Oh, Eric I only have water, I haven't been shopping lately and-" she says stopping herself instantly, "-I mean is water okay?"

"Water's fine," you say, watching her frantically move about the kitchen.

As she sets the water glasses, silverware and plates on the table you easily slip off your shoes and remove the boxes from their paper bag.

Setting them down in the middle of the table, you sit directly across from her and her eyes follow your hands until she realises you have noticed her and she speaks;

"So, what'd you get?"

"Uh, well my mind was kind of elsewhere when I ordered-" you say looking down as you say this, "So I just kind of picked a few things from the top of the menu. But I did get wontons, I know you like them."

_'Or did,'_ you think.

"Yeah I do. Thanks Eric," she says, her voice saturated with emotion.

"No problem," you say, you're eyebrows scrunching together.

She lets out a breathy noise sounding somewhere between a bitter chuckle and a hiccup, and she looks up at you, cheeks slightly reddening, eyes lost.

Sensing she doesn't know what to say (which you know is tearing her up inside), and knowing she hasn't eaten much in days, you say, " Let's eat" and smile because you know she needs it.

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After 20 minutes of light conversation, you're thankful your stupid jokes about Wolfe have distracted her from whatever she was so upset about not too long before. The current lack of conversation signals your brain telling you it's time to have a 'serious talk'.

Dreading and yearning for this conversation, you set your glass of water down and clear your throat nervously.

"Calleigh, we... we need to talk," you say slowly, trying to keep your tone soft.

She pauses knowing exactly what you mean, her head down and draws in a few breaths before looking straight into your eyes.

"Eric, I told you... I just can't deal with you and me tonight," she says, her eyes pleading and sparkling with tears that haven't fallen yet.

"I get it Calleigh, I really do, but I need this," your eyes matching her own.

"I'm sorry... You deserve all the answers I can give-"

"It doesn't have to be right this second Calleigh. Just... just tell me what happened with your Dad. Maybe that'll help... I mean, you keep so much penned up inside. Maybe if you-"

"Don't-" She whispers tiredly, before cutting herself off, "I'm sorry... I'm just not used to... this", she finishes, her voice stagnant and her features conflicted.

You look at her, wondering what exactly 'this' means.

She must've sensed your confusion because she speaks again, "I just meant someone pushing me to ... talk or open up. With Jake-" she stops, probably seeing your face contort at the mention of his name.

"I didn't mean to bring him up. It's just... he never seemed to notice as much as you. He always let things go," she says, the corners of her mouth twitching into an apologetic smile.

Replaying her words over in your head, you decide to take them as a weird compliment of sorts, mostly because if you didn't, the mention of _him _might prompt you putting your fist into her wall.

Or worse, you walking out her door.

"Okay," you spit out, not knowing what else to say.

Her eyes move focus from yours to her hands, currently on her lap. You'd expected her to start talking, but really her hesitance doesn't surprise you one bit. Knowing this you patiently wait for her to begin talking.

"Well-" she starts, clearing her throat quietly, "I got a call from this bar my dad used to go to. He hasn't been... out in a while so it took me by surprise. I knew from the sympathy in that bartender's voice that he was back into it again. I had to rush out of there to pick him up... but really, it just... caught me off guard I guess and this whole thing with ...us I just-" she stops, wiping the few tear that quietly fall from her eyes.

Knowing full well there's more than what she is telling you, you lean over the table slightly, prompting her to look up at you. When she does you gaze into her eyes, hoping to silently convey your sympathy. Something tells you words might scare her off, not that you know the right thing to say right now anyway.

"Yeah, I uh- I picked him up and paid his tab and he was the same as he always was when I used to pick him up all the time. I guess it wasn't so long ago but-" she says sighing heavily.

"After he passed out in my car and barely making it up the stairs to his door, he started apologising to me for God knows what-" she stops shaking her head. "I never really could understand his drunken rambling, but from what I could get, it was something about a fight we had had when right before I moved to go to university. We'd never really made up, just forgotten about it I guess. I hadn't seen him this out of it since I was a kid... I told him to be quiet or he'd wake the neighbours in his apartment complex. And that just made him get louder," she pauses taking a deep breath. You notice her exhale is shaky, but despite this she continues. "And as if it wasn't enough for me to pick him up and practically carry him up two flights of stairs, some women opened his door from inside."

You notice her frustration rise as when her hands forcefully move to the table in front of her.

"She smiled at me and asked me if I was Duke's daughter and spat out this big greeting while I was standing there basically holding my father up against the wall." She stops again, her hand coming to her forehead. Breathing deeply again she continues "And you know, he didn't even tell me he was with anyone, so I just brought him inside and _Beverly _starts making casual conversation with me like she has a right to. She told me to leave and that she'd take care of him. Like she has any idea about taking care of him! I mean I guess it's nice not to have to watch over him all night so he doesn't choke on his own vomit or something, but who does she think she is?" She looks up at you with apologetic eyes, and says, "I'm sorry Eric, I'm rambling... it's just sometimes he makes me so angry, and this time I actually thought he was going to stop... and Beverly or whatever her name is... it just... hit me hard this time I guess," she says quietly, choking out her last sentence.

"Oh, Calleigh," is all you can say. Her head hangs at your statement, and although she emits no noises you can tell she's crying. At that moment your fear of too much physical contact with her disappears and you sit up slowly and kneel in front of her, placing your hands on her knees and look at her. She is now sobbing, silently and you can tell she is trying to hold it in.

"Calleigh, its okay you can let go, I'm here, don't be afraid to cry," you whisper soothingly. And that along with the hug you have now enclosed her in breaks her and she begins to sob hard for a good few minutes. After that goes by you feel her tense beneath you and she begins to push you away.

"Eric, don't I'm-" she pauses another sob caught in her throat; you can tell she is fighting the urge to break down completely. "I'm fine, I don't d-deserve you comforting me like th-this," she says frustrated.

"Calleigh no matter what happened; I'm always here for you. I told you at the coffee shop that I care about you. I wasn't lying. No matter what," you stop searching her eyes. She nods lightly, and turns her gaze down, her hair falling forward, hiding her tortured features.

"Don't ever think you don't deserve comfort Calleigh. Don't ever think you don't deserve anything especially from me," you continue, emphasizing every word so she hears you.

"But Eric... what about-"

"No matter what, Cal," you say slowly, stressing every word.

"Okay," she nods, smiling slightly. "But you deserve an explanation Eric. Just because-", she stops seemingly contemplating her words, "Just because your heart is so big, doesn't make it right for me to not give you answers or hear you out," she says, shame shadowing her face.

Tilting her chin upwards, you look deep into her exhausted, dark eyes and whisper, "Thank you".

"I-"

"Not tonight, Cal," you say, knowing she's had more than enough emotional talk.

She nods thankfully and says, "How about... breakfast?"

"Same coffee shop?" You ask, internally laughing at the irony this holds.

"Yeah," she says, a smile playing at her own lips.

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A/N- To anyone who made it this far, thanks again, and I would appreciate any comments, criticism, ideas etc. I was having some trouble with the emotion in this chapter, and I would really appreciate thoughts (if you have any) on that... I am also planning another (probably final) chapter that I will strive to post in a reasonable amount of time, because these two still have some talking to do: )


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer- I own nothing at all.

A/N- Hello everyone! So here's the last chapter eeek! I've gone over it so many times, wanting it to be perfect for you guys... making sure there was a satisfactory amount of closure between them etc. So I won't hold you up any longer, I hope you enjoy it! 

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Her movements are slow and hesitant; watchful of your own. Every stir of her tea is churned by a shaky hand.

You're not quite sure why she's so nervous, you'd thought things were clear last night.

But you've both been sitting here for nearly twenty minutes, your words limited to polite hellos, and you don't know where to start.

Then, you think, "_It's always been like this with her". _You'd share a moment while out on a casual dinner after a long case or one day her flirting would dance across the line just a tad more than usual, and the next day, just when you'd thought your relationship could really progress, it was as if nothing had happened. 

And you'd played her game, gone along with whatever she'd done, pretending just as she did.

But not today. Today you are wiser in a sense. This whole situation, you feel, has changed you for the better, and you aren't going to let her slip from your grasp this time.

"So," you begin, "we've been sitting here for a while and we haven't even begun to dig through this."

"Yeah," she says a nervous chuckle catching in her throat. 

"Where do you want to start?" you ask, hoping that by giving her the control at first, she'll feel more at ease.

"Well... after last night-" she says slowly, embarrassment showing clearly, "I just feel like... you deserve to have as many questions answered as you need. I mean, if this is going to happen, I don't want you to-" she cuts off, her eyes searching the table in front of her for the right words. 

"I get it Cal," you say relieving her of the current struggle, "and I appreciate it," a subtle smile squeezing the corners of your lips.

"Well... I guess one of the things that's kind of been in the back of my mind this whole time is... Why now? What has changed?" You say with little difficulty, despite the awkward feeling each word gives you. 

"Okay..." she says breathily, and you can almost hear the gears turning away in her head.

"I just, really started to miss you Eric. Right after we – Jake and I- got engaged, I was seeing less and less of you, and we weren't even working scenes together at that point. I just thought that maybe once we'd been engaged for a while, you'd come around, and we could be friends again. And then you asked me to meet you at that restaurant, and I realized how much you were-" she stops, taking time to contemplate her words,"- how much you wanted to be with me, I didn't know what to think. After a while, I guess I started drifting from him, unintentionally ... and he lost it. He left, and then called me a week later telling me he was back on a month long op in New Orleans. He told me that he still loved me but we needed some time apart. That one month turned into... well , way longer and he uh-" she pauses, taking a sip of her tea, her hand noticeably uneasy, "he slept with one of the girls, apparently while he was on drugs, which he promised me he wouldn't do. After that, it was over for me," she says simply, shrugging her shoulders.

"Wow... Cal, I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you," you say apologetically, unaware that he had been that unfaithful to her. 

"Eric, you know what, it's not your fault. It's mine. And, the whole engagement thing, I've thought about it and I was doing the exact same thing to Jake that I did to you. I started second guessing our relationship, and thinking more about you and I realized, especially after Jake left, that I was making a mistake. I guess before I was afraid that choosing to be with you would end up a mistake," she says her eyes sparkling with sadness. 

You nod solemnly, basically because you're in awe at her openness. You chose to remain silent this time, keeping your eyes locked on her.

"And I didn't come to you right after, basically because I didn't think you'd want me anymore, and I needed some time to think things over and ... change some things, because I didn't want to end up hurting you again," she says, releasing a cleansing breath and massaging the pendant on her silver necklace. 

"I almost didn't think you'd want this now, but I thought... the longer I wait, the harder it will get. And you've been so great, Eric. You've helped me when I didn't deserve it, when you had no obligation to... despite everything," she says, her emerald eyes filled with affection.

"These are the things that made me miss you these months. And the missing you, it changed- It changed into something bigger, that well, now that I think about it ... I guess was really there all along," she says her eyes squinting.

You could have seen her discomfort from a mile away, saying all of this. But she managed to convey her feelings, and tell you private things she would normally keep inside, never to be told. This continues to amaze you, and forces you to realize just how serious she is about this. 

"I'm just sorry that- that I hurt you, and that I didn't recognize all of this a long time ago," she says quietly, her gaze forced downward by her shame.

"Thank you Cal," you state simply, letting the words sink into her.

"You shouldn't blame yourself for all of this. Things happen, people make mistakes. I was hurt and angry with you for a long time. But despite all of the pain we've both had-" you cut off, unsure of how exactly to word this (your feelings for her really could never be put into words), "- I mean, considering our relationship over the years, it would never have been simple," you say, not able to contain the smile brought on by this recent catharsis.

She looks up at you, her head cocking sideways, causing her golden hair to cascade onto her right shoulder, her eyes questioning yours; a smile gracing her lips. 

"What?" She asks somewhat playfully, her demeanour completely changing. 

"I don't know. It's just ... funny when it comes down to it- when everything pans out," you say still smiling.

"Funny?" she questions again, suppressing a giggle. 

"Well... not funny, but-"

"I get it," she says her smile still evident, biting her lip as she turns toward the window.

You follow her gaze automatically, enjoying the warm light leaking in through the window onto her hair, lighting it up. You just stare at her golden strands, which look animated as she slowly observes the scene outside.

"You know what would be nice?" she says in a soft voice, breaking your hypnosis. 

"What," you say, matching her tone, genuinely curious.

"A walk on the beach," she says simply, her eyes once again adverting outside.

"Yeah, that would be nice," you say slowly standing up. 

When she doesn't look back over at you, you walk over to the till and pay for your beverages and grab both of your coats.

"Cal," you say from behind her in a whisper. Her head whips around as her attentive jade spheres find yours. 

"Let's go," you say, handing her petite beige coat to her. 

She complies by standing up, making just enough distance between you to slip her coat on, all the while her eyes locked on you.

You simply mimic her movements, slowly putting your coat on, maintaining eye contact with her. Only once do your eyes wander to the space between your bodies. Although it's not much, it's just a touch more than safe.

Gesturing toward the door with her head delicately, she begins to make her way to it and you, still mesmerized by your previous eye contact continue to stand there, an arm still only half into your sleeve. When she doesn't sense you following behind her she turns around to you, pulling your coat the rest of the way over your shoulder. It's only when you feel a silky, warm hand pulling you forward that you move. 

Looking back at you smiling, she playfully copy's your tone from earlier, "Let's go."

Her eyes reflect the same familiarity they always had, but this time there was something more, something mysterious and wonderful. You aren't quite sure what exactly it is...

But you can't wait to find out.

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A/N- Phew, I'm so excited to be finishing this. I feel like I accomplished something, and I am so grateful to all my readers, especially those who reviewed and kept me going, and made me feel happy with their wonderful comments/criticisms! It's those reviews that helped me so much and for that I thank you! I would really really love reviews for this chapter, in terms of the closure and really the chapter as a whole. I hope everyone is satisfied! Thanks for reading my very first (ever) story!

- A :)


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